Updated: Nov 19, 2020
Last year, as some of you might have seen, I was forced to expose a man that I considered to be my friend and mentor in ministry for many years. As painful as it was I knew I had to do it because leadership proved that they could not be trusted to handle the situation in the fear of God and with integrity. In fact, through the Lord’s revelatory gifts at the time, we found out that there were plans in motion to publicly discredit me before the situation got any worse (at the time the rumors had spread around the global body of Christ among leaders and were beginning to affect the ministers who were involved). Receiving knowledge of this plot, along with several other prophetic words from the Lord which were all pointing to the need for public exposure, I knew I had to put my whole ministry and reputation on the altar and do what I felt was right in my heart. That exposure took place on August 22nd, 2019, and it quickly spread around the internet.
What many people don’t know is what followed behind the scenes between leaders and myself after that. Although I do believe that many of the leaders involved in giving me counsel and creating conditions for my conduct moving forward were sincere and truly desiring to handle things in a godly way, I’ve also come to believe that it was a mistake for me to be completely silent after this horrific affair and not talk about what had happened or what I had gone through.
Since that time, I believe I was led of the Lord to make this video and share some of these things publicly, which I did this last Saturday, on the eve of Yom Kippur 2020. As I did, immediately following the making of this video, I broke down and wailed in my office for about an hour. It’s like I could feel all of my hurt and anger coming out through my tears. I could also feel something lifted off of me, like a heavy weight I had been carrying around with me for a long time.
For some, this video was too vulnerable, too open and honest, too emotional. I’ve had some men label me a cry baby or a wuse for showing this side of me in front of the world. But that’s okay, because I read in my bible how Jesus wept openly before the people unashamed. I see the softness of David’s heart when He wrote certain passages and shared about his life and experiences with God, and I’ve come to reckon that I’d rather have a soft heart than a hard one. I don’t feel the need to convince people that I’m a hard man, or that I’m tough. I am a man, and I am tough and strong for my wife, my family, and those who God’s called me to lead, but I’ve also come to a place where I’ve allowed the Lord to deal with me at a deep heart level, and I’m not ashamed of that. I’m happy to testify of that so that others might experience the same wholeness and healing that I’ve stepped into!
So be blessed as you watch this new video blog and be encouraged. God knows exactly where you’re at, He knows exactly what you need, and He has a plan in place to facilitate his healing and freedom in your life. Just submit to him and be open and honest when He shows you deep hidden things in your heart, and He will lead you beside the still waters to eat a meal which He has prepared in the presence of your enemies (Ps.23)! Your cup will overflow and his goodness and mercy will follow you all the days of your life!
In His Service,
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